Greeting blogosphere, it’s Maggie. The future Mrs. Taylor. That has a nice ring to it don’t you think ? Paul can be so unreliable. I’ve already done this guest column twice and again he asks for assistance! He obviously finds my allure to be so overpowering and distracting it’s rendered his ramblings incomprehensible.Well, you might as well face it, sometimes even the best journalist can be wrong. One fine day Jack Taylor went on the record talking some nonsense about how Melanie Parker was the most beautiful women he’d ever seen. But that was before he was vamped out of his loafers by a bleached-blonde vision of East Village bohemia. Oh sure, he’d sampled the salacious delights of Addicted to Love but it didn’t prepare him. So hit the road Mel, there’s only room for one queen in Jack’s kingdom.At this time I foresee a long and prosperous reign, with Ms. Parker powerless as I strengthen my grip on the crown! Huh? What’s that? How was the movie, you say? Can’t we talk about Jack and his co-star, good old Goldilocks some more?
Well if you must. For those of you unfortunate enough to live in Great Britain, One Fine Day had an airing on television yesterday afternoon. I know the UK is grey, but I find it hard to believe anybody’s life is so empty they would waste their weekend watching this drivel.However if they did, I’m sure they’d agree, the film could’ve used a certain comedy queen, someone with unique star persona: calculated erotic cunning, and huge blue eyes. Oh by the way Mel, pratfalls and slapstick are so 1930s!The sloppy, stolen kiss at the end of One Fine Day is one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever seen. Prissy Ms. Parker is all fake nerves when she has obviously spiked Jack’s coffee. How dare she steal a page out of my playbook?
And then there’s the ‘getting ready for the date’ montage, you’ve seen in 10,000 movies, where she spends an eternity getting dolled up for Jack, who ends up falling asleep on the couch. Laugh? I almost did. Mel you really shouldn’t try so hard. Who needs 45 minutes to be smooch-worthy? Give me five and a Rich Girl lip gloss and I’m there Jackie boy. My carriage awaits…